Spicing Things Up! 9 Kinky Sex Ideas You Need to Try

According to one survey, around 76 percent of Americans are open to trying new sex acts. So even if your sexual partner seems like they’re only into vanilla sex, the statistics say that’s unlikely!

There’s a misconception that kinky sex only refers to hardcore sex dungeons ála 50 Shades of Gray but that isn’t the case. There are many types of fetishes and kinks that can help in spicing up a relationship in the bedroom.

All you need is a few kinky sex ideas to get you started. Need inspiration? This list will no doubt help you to figure out how to have better sex (and hotter sex, too).

1. Give BDSM a Try

BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism. Sometimes Dominance and Submission are part of the acronym too. That all sounds quite intense but there are many levels of bondage from blindfolding to ballgags.

If you’re new to BDSM, you could start with a feather whip or a simple pair of handcuffs to tie up your partner. Or, if one of you is often more dominant than the other in the bedroom, why not switch roles? Don’t forget to introduce a safe word and keep asking your partner if they are having fun.

2. Introduce a Little Pain

Your pain threshold is greater when you are experiencing pleasure which is why some people enjoy giving and receiving it during sex. Try spanking, scratching, and biting to see if that is something you or your partner are into.

As with BDSM, start with a light pat on your partner’s behind to see if they like it before using greater force. And they might like you biting their neck but more sensitive areas might not be as pleasurable. Experiment with different erogenous zones to find what feels good to you both.

3. Play With Sex Toys

One of the most popular kinky sex ideas is to introduce toys into the bedroom. There are a plethora of different sex toys no matter your gender identity that can heighten your sexual experience.

Some of the best sex toys for people with clitorises are ones that vibrate. For people in heteronormative relationships, try a cock ring or even a strap-on if you want to try pegging. Don’t forget to use lubricant with sex toys to avoid hurting yourself.

And if you get the urge to start using sex toys in the middle of the night, you don’t wait for next-day delivery. Visit a 24 hour sex store instead so you won’t have to delay gratification.

4. Watch Porn Together

Though they might not like to admit it, many people of all genders watch porn. They most likely watch it in private. This allows them to indulge in their wildest fantasies without sharing these kinks with partners.

But you shouldn’t feel ashamed of your fantasies. And you never know, your partner might have the same ones! Watch porn together while you are having sex to discover new things that turn you both on.

5. Consider Polyamory

Threesomes (or even foursomes and fivesomes) aren’t for everyone. But there are more couples engaging in group sex than you might think. As long as everyone is into it, threesomes can be very exciting and arousing.

You can either use a dating app to find a willing volunteer to join you or research sex parties in your local area. There is no obligation to join in if you don’t want to and some allow you to watch.

6. Shake Up Your Sex Positions

Are you no longer mad about missionary and is cowgirl not cutting it? Then try some new sex positions to increase the kink.

If you are in a heteronormative relationship, try reverse cowgirl. This allows the person with the clitoris to rub themselves while their partner has a great view from behind. Spooning penetration, doggy style standing over the bed, and the butterfly are all kinky positions you may not have tried.

7. Mutual Masturbation

Masturbation is often something that people do alone, but it can be very erotic to watch your partner doing it at the same time. In fact, you could even surprise your partner by playing with yourself in front of them and staring into their eyes. It won’t be long before they join in.

8. Change Your Environment

One of the most popular sexual fantasies is having sex outside or in a different place. Though you should never force anyone to watch a sex act without their consent, you can still fulfill this kink. Go to a secluded part of your local beach early in the morning or get kinky on your kitchen table to spice things up.

9. Increase the Build Up

Don’t underestimate how kinky the build-up to a night of steamy sex can be. It can often be what drives the intensity of the evening! You can (and should) spend the whole day turning yourself and your partner on so you’re both begging for it as soon as night falls.

If you are spending the day apart, send each other sexy messages explaining what you want to do to the other person that night. Slip away to the restrooms and send each other provocative photos.

When you do get together, engage in extended foreplay and continue the dirty talk. Massage each other and eat sensual foods like strawberries dipped in chocolate until you can’t help but go all the way.

Use These Kinky Sex Ideas To Whip Your Sex Life Into Shape

Not being able to come up with kinky sex ideas by yourself doesn’t mean you are boring, it only means you need some inspiration! And now you have lots of ideas to try in the bedroom, you will be able to experience even more pleasure and excitement than ever before.

Need help improving other areas of your relationship or finding a new one? Browse our website for tons of articles with dating and lifestyle tips!


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