Like the sound of bondage, discipline, domination, and submission (aka BDSM), and want to give it a try? Well, you’re not the only one… As many as 58% of people are interested in doing the same these days. Many couples are out there looking to spice things up in the bedroom! Yet BDSM isn’t all about getting down and dirty. For many, it’s about exploring sexual boundaries with a trusted partner, improving levels of communication and intimacy, experimenting with power dynamics, and so on. Whatever your reasons for trying it out, keeping BDSM safety in mind are essential.
Don’t, and there’s the possibility of causing unintentional emotional and physical harm to someone you care about. And that’s no good for anybody! Want to avoid that fate? Read on for six essential safety tips when exploring BDSM.
1. Communicate
Communication is the secret sauce to successful sex life, including one that involves BDSM.
After all, it’s the only way to express what you want and need from your partner. Unable to read your mind, they’ll continue as-is unless you tell them otherwise! Open and honest communication will also help build trust and stop anything from happening that’s making you feel uncomfortable.
That’s why we suggest you have an open, frank conversation about your sex life before getting involved in BDSM. Ensure you’re on the same page regarding wanting to do it first, things you want to try in particular, and how far you want to go.
Don’t stop at one conversation, either! Keep it going as time goes by. That way, you and your partner will stay in tune with each other if and when your preferences change.
2. Pick a Safe Word
The second thing we suggest you do is to pick a safe word.
You or your partner can utter this term if you want the BDSM experience to stop. Of course, it also means you know it’s safe to continue! If your partner hasn’t said the safe word, you can feel more confident that they’re enjoying themselves and want you to continue.
Now, the word itself is less important than having one.
Nevertheless, you should consider picking something you wouldn’t ordinarily say during BDSM play. For example, ‘stop,’ and ‘no’ might seem like obvious choices. Yet you might be surprised at how often you’ll utter them as part of the fun (if you’re role-playing, for example).
Choose something random that’ll still get your attention in the heat of the moment instead.
Oh, and you could also set a ‘safe signal’ to use here. That’ll come in handy in certain BDSM situations where (it’s impossible to put this delicately) a gag might be in use!
3. Use a Traffic Light System
Don’t like the sound of a standard safe word or can’t think of one that works?
Try using a traffic light system instead. This is another common way for people who first engage in BDSM to indicate whether or not they’re happy for something to continue.
It’s very straightforward. As you might expect, red means ‘stop’, orange means ‘proceed with care, and green means ‘go’! Just say the color that matches your inclination, and your partner will know what to do.
4. Always Obey the Rules
It’s easy to get caught up in the moment when you’re engaged in BDSM. You might be in the zone, in character, and titillated beyond words by the whole shebang!
Even then, it’s imperative that you respect whatever safety system you’ve put in place. If your partner says the safe word, stop what you’re doing and check they’re okay. Don’t; you risk breaking the trust essential to safe and consensual BDSM play.
5. Don’t Drink and Dominate
Few things are as important to BDSM safety as doing it sober. That applies whether you’re new to the game or a seasoned professional. It also applies whether you’re doing it with your spouse of 20 years or a total stranger!
Being under the influence at the time can cause all manner of problems. You might be slower to respond to a safe word (or forget to set one altogether), less aware of what’s happening in the moment, and under less control of your inhibitions. Our advice?
Avoid the use of any substances before engaging in BDSM. Stay sober, and you’ll be more vigilant, in tune with your partner, and in better control. You’ll stay safe, avoid trouble, and enjoy the experience more.
6. Understand Your Instruments
Another safety component for beginners to BDSM relates to any tools, furniture, or attire you plan on using throughout the proceedings! Honestly, from spanking paddles and handcuffs to whips and violet wands, there’s a whole host of BDSM gear that could be used.
Whatever you bring into the bedroom, though, it’s crucial that you know how to use it safely. Don’t, and you could do unintentional damage to someone. For example, violet wands (a small device that delivers electric shocks) may be unsuitable for people with a pacemaker.
Always read the instructions (and warnings) on the packaging and get some practice before the BDSM session begins.
Remember These Importance BDSM Safety Tips
BDSM is more popular and commonplace than many people think. Countless couples around the country have already engaged in these kinky bedroom antics, and many more are interested in trying it. Are you one of them?
Well, given the potential risks involved, it’s crucial that you know how to keep yourself and your partner safe throughout the proceedings. You’re sure to appreciate the experience far more (and come away unscathed) as a result!
We hope the BDSM safety tips in this post will help. Would you like to read more articles like this one? Search ‘bedroom’ on the website now.